I think I always had it in me …the hunger and the
hunar to write, but the manifestation happened pretty late (if you talk it all out, what will be left to write :)).
Nah, I am not in a self complimenting mood today, just got reminded of my first piece of writing, real writing – not in school or college, but quite in the virtual world for everyone to see. It wasn’t ‘to the editor’ letter. It wasn’t a blog. Nor a status update. It was a description of myself on a matrimonial site!! I had always shied away from such descriptions till then. I mean how I can go on eulogizing myself, flouting all rules of modesty! It was a bouncer! Since I thought I was ready to take the plunge, I had to do it.
It was essential to complete my registration, so I decided to come back and finish it after giving some thought to it. And pretty thought I gave to it! Suddenly, describing yourself or what you have done, for a job interview, seemed easy. I wracked my brains, it was a question of my life and life partner, afterall. And the end product was decent and handsome too, or so I thought then!
Like all such profiles, it started with all the nice things and then a statutory warning “And all those good things don’t mean there are no grey areas – I do have them and well grey cells too, in plenty!...” so on and so forth. Pluses, minuses, and a dash of humour and I felt content to post it hoping to get the interest of someone with whom ‘I’ll be taking this journey of life forward’ – oh that, by the way, is the expression I picked up from the numerous profiles I sifted through on the matrimonial site! Feeling pretty smug at the way mine had shaped up, I ended the registration and started the wait to find ‘my special someone’.
Not half a dozen hours had passed, the curiosity got the better of me and there I was confidently checking my profile, not realising it takes eons of effort and time, at times, to meet your soulmate, like they say, you have to kiss many frogs to find your prince!
My confidence didn’t let me down and there I had quite quite a few ‘interests shown’ messages popping up and even comments like ‘wow! nice profile’, ‘pretty interesting description’ etc. Still, the interesting profile did not lead me to show interest in any. Realising it was too soon to be counting my chicken, I logged out of my profile to wait some more. The search had just begun and you bet I was hopeful, optimistic to the core.
A week passed before I went back to it and there were still more compliments waiting for me and of course, lot more interests too. And then it became a constant affair – people gushing over the way I had described myself and me blushing! There would be comments like, “What a riveting read it was!”, “I couldn’t stop myself from going through your entire profile and it was fascinating!” “What a way of putting things …describing yourself” etc etc. For some strange reason, I started enjoying those as if these were valuable prizes I was getting after participating in a competition. Honestly, I think I looked forward to those. I felt important, self satisfied, at the expression of my talent, at the same time realising that this isn’t what I came here for. But what the heck! I’ll find a partner sooner or later but let me enjoy this attention for now. I’ll meet him when the heavens have ordained.
How I wish I had a copy of that description with me right now which I used to read and reread and couldn’t help a conceited grin when someone complimented me on how fascinating, mesmerizing it read. I am pretty sure the hand written copy must be lying somewhere buried in my notes. One of these days when I find it, I will surely post it here.
The search had been disappointing but I started believing I had it in me to write and why the manifestation took so long is another story…
image courtesy : google images
